PEP: ‘I feel my personal life has to be put in order’ — Kris Aquino

In the course of her split with husband James Yap, Kris Aquino had been judged in so many ways. Her detractors felt less sympathetic, thinking that the eventual result of her marriage was mostly because of her own doing. She was her usual bubbly self when she faced the few guests who were invited to her launch as the premiere endorser of Belo Medical Clinic last night, September 29, at the Red restaurant in Shangri-La Makati. "I'm back with the best," she said this twice in a happy tone. Ironically, she had also just closed her doors on two important things in her life—her hosting job in ABS-CBN's Pilipinas, Win Na Win! and her marriage. She admitted feeling a bit cheerless when she learned about the former, but later on, she welcomed it as a blessing in disguise. "Honestly, before any other things, I feel my personal life has to be put in order," the host-actress began. "Kasi, if I look back at the entire year, from August 2009 to now, I haven't really had the chance to just reflect—the loss of my mother, the campaign of my brother, the demise of my marriage." She knew these are no simple episodes in her life. But all she was able to do was have a short break with her family, then right after, seek refuge in her work. The youngest daughter of former President Corazon Aquino+ continued, "Parang along the way, I just had to survive. Yung parang kailangan itawid ko lang nang itawid para hindi ako mapahiya, para hindi ko i-disappoint ang mga tao. "But along the way also, nakalimutan ko 'ata na kailangan ko rin naman talaga mabuo as a person again. Kasi, I think, anybody who has gone through a breakup and gone through the loss of a parent, all in a span of one year, yung parang the two pillars of your life, nawala...So, ngayon ang kailangan ko is to make sure okay ako within, para my kids will really be okay." HER ONLY REGRET ABOUT ANNULMENT. Two months since she made that "it's over" announcement in The Buzz, her annulment case is now in progress at the Makati Regional Trial Court. "Walang hiwalay na madali," she said with a tinge of regret. She elucidated, however, that she's feeling repentant over the fact that she went against one of her mother's wishes. Almost close to tears, she confessed, "Kung puwede lang ma-rewind ang buhay ko na nakinig ako sa mommy ko. May mga in-advise ang mommy ko sa akin bago kami ikinasal na sana kung nakinig lang ako sa mom ko, hindi ko pinagdadaanan ito lahat ngayon. I take that as the one lesson in life talaga na everything na sinabi ng mom ko sa akin has been 100% accurate." When asked if she ever regretted being married to the cager, her answer was 'No'. "I have Bimby, di ba," she said, referring to baby James. The Kapamilya star continued, "The regret, if you ask me, was that my mom had said to me, 'I only ask you one thing, humingi ka ng pre-nup [pre-nuptial agreement] para ma-secure mo si Josh [her son with actor Phillip Salvador]. It was not for any other reason, and sana huwag sabihin ng mga tao na naging matapobre ang pamilya namin or anything like that, hindi, e. "My mom's concern was because Josh is illegitimate; Josh is a special child who has so many needs. So, my mom just wanted, nung time na yun, na kung anong mangyari, hindi darating sa point na maaagrabiyado yung isa kong anak. So, yun ang ano ko ngayon..." There was a bit of restraint while she was talking about the terms of her settlement, but she became blunt in revealing: "Kung meron man akong iniyak in this whole thing, nalugi talaga ang panganay kong anak." She related, "Medyo kailangan talagang magsumikap kasi, total napag-usapan na yung settlement, one-sided po yung settlement na galing sa akin. So, siguro, yun...Yun lang yun. It's my fault wala kaming pre-nup so I'm paying the price for it. Kasi, if there was a child prior to that marriage, yung interest of that child, nasa-sacrifice kasi yung conjugal, hindi siya kaparte ng conjugal na 'yon, e." Her voice shook as she elaborated on how painful it is for her that Josh's future got affected by the annulment. "Kasi, tanungin niyo man lahat ng kapatid ko, lahat ng katrabaho ko, kung tungkol sa pera, hindi ako mahirap kausap. Pero kung tungkol sa mga anak ko, as much as possible talaga, ipaglalaban ko kasi, yung...Kung meron akong iniyak sa mga kapatid ko kasi...Bimby was blessed of every possible benefit—matalino siya, guwapo siya, sa genes niya alam mo magiging athletic siya. Sa school pa lang ngayon, sinasabi he's a born leader, so articulate, so smart. "Lahat nun hindi nabigay kay Josh. And yet, si Josh na mas nangangailangan, kung ano yung sana para kay Josh na buong-buo, nakuhanan pa. Yun lang...And yun ang masakit. And if there are two things she's been praying for—first, her three-year-old son will not forget his kuya; second, she will live longer so she can take care of Josh," she said. She affirmed, "Alam naman nating lahat that Bimby will be a huge success. Ang ikinakatakot ko, pag meron nang sariling pamilya si Bimby, pa'no kung sabihin ng asawa na, 'Kelangan ba nating obligasyon ang kuya mo?' Nakuha niyo? Yun lang yun. "Kaya gusto ko lang talagang ma-make sure na mabuhay akong matagal to be able to take care of Josh because he's the one who needs it." One of the writers brought up the issue on financial support. Kris didn't give away too much on this subject. She quickly said, "Wala. Hindi ko hiningi. At hindi rin naman in-offer. Kaya wala." The press people probed: Walang kusa? She laughed, before answering, "E, tinatanong niyo ako, e. Pero, in all fairness, hindi na rin ako humingi kasi gugulo lang." The sought-after endorser couldn't give a clear-cut explanation why her husband—who, according to her, is presently the "highest-paid" player in the PBA (Philippine Basketball Association)—did not pledge any amount for their son. She said, "But it's in my position to say na hindi ko hiningi 'yan. And, siguro also, hindi mo naman kelangan hingin. Feeling ko kasi...Ang iniisip ko na lang kasi...I honestly think na maybe you have to remember we're 11 years apart. He's 28, the level of responsibility...'Malaki naman ang kinikita mo, e, di kayang-kaya mo.'" She made it sound like it's no big deal to her, but she issued a request: "Sana lang na may mangyari sa akin, hindi niya pababayaan si Bimby. Yun lang." She's grateful that through this ordeal, her sisters—Ballsy Aquino-Cruz, Viel Aquino-Dee, and Pinky Aquino-Abellada—have never left her side. She didn't get any I-told-you-so line from any of them. But, "Sana natuto ka," became their constant reminder. - Karen A. Pagsolingan, PEP